My thoughts!

The past couple of weeks i have focused on me and what i need and i have learned so much so i thought i would just do a list:

1: BOYS ARE STUPID!!
I have finally moved on from Bryce, and i have finally ready to start dating and going on dates again, but for some reason that is like against guys religion. Its either guys don't go on dates with people anymore or Leslie is just butt ugly! I asked one guy on a date a couple weeks ago and he said no, and my friend asked another guy for me because i was a complete chicken and well he said no also. So I am just way to much of a chicken to ask any guy on a date again a fear of rejection. But its like i am so sick of trying so hard. I just wish a boy will show me I'm worth the effort. I am worth getting over the fear of asking a girl on a date and ask me. Sense i have been 16 i think i have been on a total of 3 or 4 dates that the guy has asked me. I only went to high school dances that were girl choices. I went to almost everyone my Jr. year and 2 or 3 of them my senior year. I only went to one guys choice dance, prom my senior year and Bryce took me (he didn't even go to my school).

2: Its time to prepare!!
I have finally realized that my next big steps in life are graduating from college and Marriage. I will not Rush into marriage it will happen when its suppose to happen but i need to start preparing for when that time comes because i want to be completely prepared when it happens. Many people tell me 1 or 2 years and you will be married yes that scares the crap out of me i am way to young to be getting married but what if it a year away and i am not ready at all. Marriage will come sooner then i think and i am so far from ready for that. But i am getting there, everyday i am working closer and closer to the temple.

3: Happy to be me!!
I use to tend to be someone else to make everyone else around me happy. I would do stuff that wouldn't make me happy but it made other people happy. But i realized its time to focus on me. Its time to make Leslie Shore happy and put me first. I am just as important as everyone else. I am doing what i want to do. I am doing what i think is best for me. I am being the REAL Leslie and i will never let anyone take her away from me and try to change me. If you don't like me the way i am then you don't need to talk to me. I am a strong self Driven person! I am so happy to be me and not someone fake. Not someone i am not because for so long i have been trying to be what everyone wanted me to be and everyday it would just crush me down. I am now building myself up and no one can take me down.

4: BEST FRIENDS ARE AMAZING
I have so many friends that i can count on any second of any day. I have Ryan Roper who will drop anything and talk to me and call me and just let me vent my anger and frustrations out and will tell me exactly what he thinks and is probable the most caring person in the world. I have Sophie and Kristen who will rescue me from my house when i am down and sad. because sitting at home when you are not in the best of moods just makes things worse. We can do the wildest of things and its just so much fun. We get out and play a lot and they are the best to talk to and they will give me words of encouragement. I have Rachel who just makes me forget about everything when i am with her and can make me laugh even when i am on the verge of tears. These friends are what i want to be. I want to be a friend that anyone can turn to. A friend that no matter what i am just a phone call or drive away. I want to be what those 4 people are to me. The lord put them in my life to help me and now i am ready and standing waiting for him to put me somewhere so i can be that friend to them. All 4 of these people would never leave my side, even if i screw up so bad they will forgive me and put it behind me. I am being a Best Friend, I am being a Friend!

5: Forgive and Forget
I REALLY needed to learn that. I regret with all my heart some things i have done in my past. I have blow things way out of proportion, and i would hold it against them for a long time. Everyone makes mistakes no one is perfect and i mess up all the time and so why should any of my friends be different. My biggest one that still kills me to this day is my birthday. I think i got mad at Bryce almost everyday for him not being able to be with me on my birthday. He had no control what so ever over it, and he had somewhere else to be that was A LOT more important then a stupid birthday. If he could have, he would have came down but he had no choice. I blew that completely out of proportion and i believe because of my birthday that is why i lost him. Even though i got mad at him so many times for that he did so much to make it up to me, he called me on my birthday even though he shouldn't have because he was on his high adventure and had VERY little service. He let me spend time with his dads family on the 4th of July were i crashed his wave runner. He sent me flowers on my birthday to show that he did care and felt really bad. He came down and we spent an amazing day together on a date. and HE made me a blanket!! and i never truly told him how much all that stuff meant to me, I let the stupid him missing my real birthday take over all the amazing stuff he did to make it up! Even though he is not in my life anymore i wish he could know how much everything he did meant the world to me. It probable was one of the best birthdays ever, but i never EVER thanked him for it all!! I have learned to forgive and forget and i am positive it will keep together so many friendships.

I just need to say sorry to anyone I have hurt. Thanks to everyone for everything they have done for me. I AM SO SORRY!! and THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!! I LOVE YOU!!